sparknotes on chapter one (or snippets of crazy from a leathered journal)

i. postcards of flight fly into my pocket

birds like paper airplanes
float on wind air
the buoyancy of tiny
minnows in midwater
ocean floating
a caterpillar inches forward squishes stretches
at the most steady pace the
minarets here poke holes
in a paper blue sky
construction paper maybe
he left six days ago
bullet holes in a tin wall.
my heart beats syncopation shudders
down my spine his words are like
steel wind chimes tickled by
the breeze a thick orange sunset
sky holds the silhouette
of six birds a series
of black right angles in the sky
string marionettes at the
outer tips
invisible strings i think
i loved him too young buoyant
love an invisible riptide, water wind,
shifts the course of the largest sperm
whale.

ii. synesthesia

there's sunlight in the tea here
rays of light a dark mix of a sleeping sky
slip farther muddy hands
like melted chocolate bars deep caves
and long shadows the wind blew
my bangs a flapping flag
mountains carved of rock a breath
of adventure rolling contours a
fast drum. her hands weave wings for
fairies and her eyes close and i know
a dream lives there
synesthesia musical colors thick fields of
flowers light yellow petals he left clues
in my book i will meet you again someday
dance sunshine with you weave trains of mountains
grab your hand and let tall grass brush my hips running
nowhere but somewhere, perhaps, because we will be
that--a we--going nowhere.

iii. internal forts

land of magic land of one thousand
sheets hanging from rope land of
i love sisterhood and the way
light soaks through thin cloth
here the divine feminine speaks through
our head on lap hiccuping tears i will scratch
your curly hair until She has written us a Bible just
light me a candle if i close my eyes
i can fit on a toy sailboat and weave between
the tiniest of waves you are
beautiful standing in the middle of the street with
no cars wind rushing your hair up in laughter
yellow leaves flying
the air full of them
and i know what joy looks like
She tells us of these things here
the feminine is divine, the divine is feminine.
you are divine, my dear, hair flying up
or hair lying down because a tornado
of brilliant autumn leaves lives in your heart.

iv. primary colors

sunshine stripes through clouds
splotchy sky prisms of perpendicular
paralysis one moment
stillness amid movement
water trickles, horn honks,
merhaba merhaba
bright red scarf, flag, sky,
the sky shines red before dark
wind caught fabric sun through
cloth beam. sun beam sugar tea i still
smell you-smell in the morning when
i close my eyes the warm spot in my bed is where
you just got up good morning sweetheart
yellow city shines one color
multiplex matte brick shine he's not
here not even close.

v. istanbul, cuba

my body contained something electric,
an elevator of electricity rising and falling
in shafts of my bones tinkering
between tendons as he dipped my head
bent my back shocks of
i am alive ran through
me and salsa music played.
i dream in memories not my own when
women warriors marched in sedentary
stone and my namesake sang lullabies to
unborn babies and turquoise tiles fit on floors
a mosaic of unmemory mixing like sugar in
my tea with tiny girls in pink dresses
with hands full of Turkish plums
and powder sugar hands and rose
Turkish delight.
2 birds nested above breakfast
and his curls were dark, eyes deep
and warm, coffee no sugar sweet
smell of apple hashish, fingers grab mine,
the breeze on mount nemrut wisps dirt off
Hellenic eyes, light catches birds
flying like confetti in the sky
amid the general wonderment of the
world's largest dandelion, and i like
your energy, there's something, something
something about the way Arabic letters melt together
and his translation of Turkish into
colors sings (it's not synesthesia
when it's music).

vi. jumping off rocks

sun dripped indigo hot acid
brainwaves slow crystalized
sodium licked on dry warmed up
skin freckled on lips dots of salt i
leaned onto the infinite turquoise ocean
hair flew a tornado of hair on
a perfectly still wait
one dimension of mountain horizon
low late sun spreading silver spilling it on
top of wind blown sea
letting go letting go
big jumps off coral cliffs
seconds spent mid air
hair above i'm tall
you see as tall as
the sea sky really they
might be the same i am
the tiniest piece of meat
in the largest sandwich
the universe expands
contracts a held hand a
caught eye fingers two of them
stroke a fresh face underwater world
crash swimming is like dancing
in slow motion, hushed underwater sounds,
hushed swooping legs, hushed wet face,
hush.

DLS